according to mekamekasubs, the note says this:
‘Everyone,
I won’t let any of you die. As your big sister, I’ll do my best.
I love you all so much.’
this is super fucking fascinating to me because. ayano addresses it to everybody. to the three of them.she intended for kano to come clean after her death, to tell the three of them what had happened, to fill them in so they could protect themselves from the snake living in kenjirou. she wanted this to be her goodbye. ‘i love you all’. ayano reached out to the three of them.
and kano never showed them the note.
oh, i’m sure it was to protect them at first; what they don’t know can’t hurt them, that sort of thing. and i’m sure it was to protect himself; for the first few days/weeks/months, i bet kano felt like if he tried to explain anything at all to them he’d just break.
but also, this was the one thing of ayano’s that belonged only to kano. this secret. we saw him get left out of their game, we saw her comfort the other two and not him when their mother died, we saw him trailing her at the festival and his discomfort and jealousy when she wouldn’t explain the situation with shintaro to him.
this was the last thing he had left of her. ‘i love you all’, not, ‘i love you’, not ‘thank you kano’ for all his hard work, but ‘i love you all’. even after impersonating her and keeping her secrets and enduring shintaro’s presence kano is still just ‘one of the kids’ to her, and he doesn’t get a special goodbye or even to be mentioned by name.
it’s through no fault of ayano’s, of course, but was it any wonder that kano kept this secret and this note for himself?
